My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
