Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
