Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
