she looked like the bat from fern gully.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All I want is dick and wine.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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