i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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