how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize