Don't make out with my wife yet
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
