I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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