overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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