Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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