eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
