why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
