also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
