do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
