Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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