my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
