It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
