I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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