Got a toothbrush?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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