i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
