You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
