No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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