you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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