i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
