I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
