How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
