No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
