Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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