Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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