I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
