Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
