Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
