please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
