He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What a dumb baby whore.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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