matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
