Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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