Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
