tell your sister to shave her snatch
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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