i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
