i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
