I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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