just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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