The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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