As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
