You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
