carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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