you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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