So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
