He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
