farters have to be the big spoon...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
