Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
