ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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