I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
