Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
