wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
