it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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