Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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