I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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