You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize