if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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