morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i out mim tonsoeep
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