she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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