I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
