Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
