i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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