It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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